In My Wild Dream Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Epilogue

  “Sasha Lord’s intensely romantic voice is a gift to the genre.”

  —Lisa Kleypas

  Praise for the Novels of Sasha Lord

  Beyond the Wild Wind

  “Intriguing. . . . The story line never slows down . . . a delightful romance.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  “Beyond the Wild Wind is another bold adventure in Ms. Lord’s Wild series . . . action-packed [and] emotionally charged.”

  —Romance Reviews Today

  “Intense emotions and searing sensuality flow from Lord’s powerful prose. The author has the ability to create characters whose passions ignite the imagination, and her talent for vivid storytelling increases with each new tantalizing tale.”

  —Romantic Times (4½ stars, Top Pick)

  Across a Wild Sea

  “Lord is a grand mistress at blending the reality of a medieval romance with magic and myth to create a story with the essence of a fairy tale and the drama of a grand epic. Those who love Mary Stewart will savor Lord’s latest.”

  —Romantic Times (4 stars)

  “Ms. Lord’s richly woven historical draws readers into a vivid world of court politics, hatred, jealousy, greed, and erotic passion. With multidimensional characters and a stunning love story, you can’t help but be thoroughly captivated by this reading pleasure.”

  —Rendezvous

  “A superb historical romantic fantasy that combines medieval elements with a fine adult-fairy-tale-like atmosphere. . . . The exciting story line blends the fantasy elements inside a well-written historical tale that showcases Sasha Lord’s ability to provide a wild read for her fans.”

  —The Best Reviews

  In a Wild Wood

  “Dark and filled with potent sensuality and rough sex (á la early Johanna Lindsey), Lord’s latest pushes the boundaries with an emotionally intense, sexually charged tale.”

  —Romantic Times (4½ stars, Top Pick)

  “This exciting medieval romance is an intriguing historical relationship drama. . . . a cleverly developed support cast.”

  —Midwest Book Review

  Under a Wild Sky

  “Sasha Lord weaves a most imaginative tale.”

  —Bertrice Small

  “Stunningly imaginative and compelling.”

  —Virginia Henley

  “Lord’s debut is a powerful, highly romantic adventure with marvelous mystical overtones. Like a lush fairy tale, the story unfolds against a backdrop brimming with fascinating characters, a legend of grand proportions, and magical animals.”

  —Romantic Times (4½ stars)

  “Ms. Lord’s debut novel was a surefire hit with this reader, and I eagerly look forward to the next book of hers featuring characters from Under a Wild Sky.”

  —Rendezvous

  Also in the Wild series by Sasha Lord

  Under a Wild Sky

  In a Wild Wood

  Across a Wild Sea

  Beyond the Wild Wind

  SIGNET ECLIPSE

  Published by New American Library, a division of

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  Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  First published by Signet Eclipse, an imprint of New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  First Printing, February

  Copyright © Rebecca Saria, 2007

  All rights reserved

  eISBN : 978-1-101-16651-2

  SIGNET ECLIPSE and logo are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  PUBLISHER’S NOTE

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

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  To Avalon . . . follow your dreams.

  DAGDA

  Gender: Masculine

  Usage: Irish Mythology

  Pronounced: DAHG-dah

  Means powerful god of the earth, knowledge, magic, abundance and treaties. He was skilled in combat and possessed a huge club, the handle of which could revive the dead.

  DANU

  Gender: Feminine

  Usage: Irish Mythology

  Pronounced: DAH-new

  Means mother of all gods.

  Prologue

  Aberdour Castle, in the Highlands of Scotland 1066

  Liam Caenmore spread his arms wide, clenched his fists and screamed. Wave after wave of heart-wrenching sorrow and intense fury erupted from his powerful chest and reverberated through the shadowed forest, sending birds and rodents scrambling in fear. His wizened face twisted as rivulets of salty tears poured from his eyes and soaked his graying beard.

  “Sarah!” he bellowed.

  Pain shot through his chest and rippled through his blood. He fell to one knee as he struggled to draw breath.

  “Sarah,” he cried, his voice filled with misery. “I miss you. Come back to me. I need you. . . .”

  The emotional agony radiated through his body, making him weak and disoriented. Flashes of light danced across his vision. He clasped his hands over his heart, feeling it shatter. So much had ha
ppened . . . so many people had been hurt. It was only fitting that this pain now enveloped him, sending tentacles of wretched despair through his soul.

  A horse thundered out of the trees and skidded to a stop only feet from his crumpled form. A young man leapt from the stallion and raced to Liam’s side.

  “Father!”

  “Sarah . . .” Liam whispered. “I miss her.” He glanced up and touched the younger man’s concerned face. “I miss your mother. She loved you, Cadedryn. You were the moon and stars to her. It is my fault . . . She always knew what to do.”

  “I miss her, too, Father, but her death was an accident. How could you have known the rocks were unstable? They had remained strong and secure for centuries. ’Tis only by chance she was sitting in the very spot where the boulder crashed.”

  “You are so young,” Liam said quietly as he took a deep breath.

  “I am no longer a boy,” Cadedryn reminded him. “I am five years past my tenth birthday. I am a man.”

  Liam smiled. “Sarah thinks you are growing up too—” He broke off abruptly, aware he was speaking of her as if she still lived. Tears welled up in his eyes, and his face clenched in pain. “I want her back,” he cried. “We are lost without her!”

  “What about me?” Cadedryn shouted. “You languish in grief and forget that your son also sorrows. Would she want this? Would she want you to live in eternal torment? She loved life and sunshine, yet you wallow in shadows.”

  “You do not understand my loss. I lost my love, my precious wife.”

  “I lost my mother.” Cadedryn paced around his father, his green eyes glimmering with pain and loneliness. “And now I am losing you, too. The castle is barren and the halls are silent without her laughter. I miss her encouragement and her comforting words. I have had nothing to ease the pain, either. No one else to call for solace. No other family.”

  Liam rose to his feet. A strange light entered his eyes and he placed both hands on Cadedryn’s shoulders. “You should have family. Sarah and I have been selfish. We thought only of ourselves. You should be with other boys, perhaps even one you could call brother. But you must find your own way. There is nothing I can offer you here.”

  “You are my father!” Cadedryn shouted, gripping Liam’s arms. “I will stay with you!”

  “There are things you do not know. I have already asked McCafferty to foster you. Your swordsmanship is unparalleled, yet you have not been tested in battle. McCafferty will guide you, act as a second father to you. He will teach you, then send you to fight for Scotland. It is best this way. It is the way of the titled families.”

  “We have no title,” Cadedryn snarled, his youthful face twisted in anger. “The king stripped our family of our title when you married my mother. You always told me that the title meant nothing compared to your happiness with her.”

  Liam closed his eyes against Cadedryn’s furry, then opened them and stared at him with resolution. “You will go to the McCafferty laird and foster with him. The way will be hard, but you must learn more than what you have learned here at Aberdour Castle. You must have knowledge of the world. You cannot stay secluded with an old man like me.”

  “No! I do not want to go. Why do you cast me out? What have I done wrong?”

  Another shaft of pain rippled through Liam’s chest. “It is I who has done wrong. I want the best for you, Cadedryn.” He pulled away from his stunned son. “Let me give you some advice; heed me well.” He gripped Cadedryn’s hand. “You will endure much ridicule for what I have done. Other lords will treat you with disdain despite your blue blood, for they will not see you as an earl’s son but rather as the son of a man who lost his title. Yet remember, Sarah was a wonderful mother. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  Cadedryn flung his father’s hand off his own then shoved Liam in the chest, sending him stumbling against a tree. “Your warning comes too late! Already I hear the villagers whispering about my tainted heritage. You intend to send me into a household where everyone will despise me? So you can wallow alone in your sorrow?” He paced away, then spun back to face Liam. “Love did this to you and to me,” he growled. “Everything happened because of love. You married a woman against the king’s will and rejected another who was selected for you. You lost your title, and then you lost your wife.”

  Liam tried to interrupt, but Cadedryn shook his head in angry denial. “I have seen the truth!” Cadedryn shouted. “You cast me aside only days after my mother’s death. If this is what love does to a grown man, then I will never succumb to its strangling grip. I will never let myself become a hollow shell, dependent upon another’s presence. This is one lesson you have taught me well. No woman shall ever claim my heart.”

  Liam’s pain-filled eyes focused on his enraged son. “You have her green eyes, as green as the emerald hills behind Aberdour Castle,” he whispered. “Don’t let my pain strip you of happiness. Love is not to blame.”

  “You want me to become battle hardened, Father? A true warrior does not succumb to love.” Cadedryn’s gaze grew hooded and he turned away. “I will go to McCafferty, and I will ignore any who dare insult me, but I will not return to Aberdour Castle. Not until your body lies deep within the earth and a tombstone marks your grave.”

  Liam took a step forward. “Do not say such things.” He clutched his chest. “I am not casting you out. I am trying to help you.”

  Cadedryn lifted a brow in a sardonic expression as his youthful face turned cold. “Good-bye.”

  Liam’s face crumpled and he reached out toward Cadedryn. “My son . . . Don’t leave me like this. . . .”

  Cadedryn leapt upon his horse and reined the stallion around to stare down at his weakened father. “You are the one who wants to send me away. Why don’t you follow Mother into the world of darkness?” he snarled. “Your soul is already dead.” Spinning the horse, he thrummed his heels against the stallion’s sides and sent him galloping out of the clearing.

  Liam took a step forward, his hand outstretched and his palm turned upward in supplication. “Son!” he called. “Wait!” A sound to his right caused him to turn. A figure cloaked in a hooded red cape stepped out of the shadows. “Who goes there?” Liam whispered. “Ah . . . ’Tis you. How long have you been standing there? What do you want?”

  The hooded figure picked up a knife from under a tree where Liam had tossed it moments ago. “I want retribution. Your dirk, my revenge,” the person hissed.

  Liam gasped and staggered backward. “No,” he whispered, seeing his own knife in the hands of the attacker.

  The red cape flared as the person rushed forward and plunged the dirk deep into Liam’s chest, then twisted it cruelly before yanking it free.

  Blood poured from the wound and drenched Liam’s clothing, spreading a crismon stain down his white shirt and over his brown leggings. Liam fell to his knees as he clutched his wound and gasped for breath. His heart raced, pumping blood with increasing pressure. Then, as his life force drained away, his heart slowed to a chaotic, irregular rhythm.

  The hooded figure nudged him with a booted foot.

  Liam’s glazed eyes looked up into the attacker’s face. “Why?” he whispered. “Why now? Did I anger you so much?”

  “One day your son will share your fate, and I will have completed my revenge.”

  Fear snaked through Liam’s dying heart. “Not Cadedryn. He is innocent . . . I am doing as you asked. I am sending him away.”

  Deep in the woods, Cadedryn pulled his stallion to a stop. Something felt wrong. His father had begged him to wait, and he had always been a good son. He should not have left his father. He should not have said those terrible words. He should return and face Liam, man-to-man, and listen to his explanation. Perhaps there was a reason Liam wanted him to foster with McCafferty.

  Cadedryn spun around and sent his horse galloping back toward the meadow.

  The sound of his horse returning made the hooded figure move away from Liam and slink deeper into the shadows. “First Sarah
. . .” the person snarled. “Then you . . . and finally him.”

  “You did not need to suffer,” Liam whispered, coughing on his own blood.

  Without answering, the figure melted away.

  Cadedryn cantered his horse through the forest, then spied his father lying on the ground. “No!” he shouted as he beheld his father’s blood-soaked tunic and nearly lifeless form. He leapt off his horse and raced to his father’s side. “I did not mean my last words! Do not go to her. Do not kill yourself only to be with her again!‘’ Cadedryn yanked the dirk free and flung it into the bushes.

  Liam struggled to draw breath. It was important . . . He had to tell Cadedryn. He had to protect him. “Not . . . suicide . . .” he whispered.

  Cadedryn pressed his hand against the wound, desperately trying to stop the flow of life’s blood. “You loved her so much,” he accused as tears pricked his eyelids.

  “That . . . is . . . what . . . they . . . will . . . say . . .”

  His brow knit in confusion, Cadedryn peered down at his dying father. “What happened?”

  Liam tried to answer, but his lips would not move. Suddenly, he saw a shimmering form float down from the sky and reach for him.

  “Sarah . . .” Liam whispered as he stretched his hand toward her. Then his heart stilled.

  Chapter 1

  Loch Nidean Forest, just off the coast of Scotland . . . 1076

  The deep forest lay silent as its fey mistress lay in uneasy sleep beneath the sheltering arms of an old ash tree. Long strands of grandfather moss dripped from the tree branches, and dense undergrowth carpeted the ground, creating a spongy forest floor that absorbed the sounds of evening insects and nocturnal creatures, all sounds, that is, except the moans of the red-haired woman who tossed back and forth in her bed of ferns, caught in the throes of her nighttime world.