In My Wild Dream Read online

  Kalial stood up and took a deep breath. “Your words make me only more leery of helping you. You are ten and six and innocent to the ways of men.”

  Kassandra jumped to her feet, shaking her head. “That is not true! I know all about mates. I do not desire a physical mating. I want only a spiritual bonding. He is my dream friend and . . . and . . .” She cast about, trying to come up with a word that Kalial would understand. “He is my husband.”

  Kalial laughed shortly, although amusement did not reach her eyes. “What will you do if I say no?”

  Kassandra lifted her chin and pressed her lips together. “I will go anyway. I will find him.”

  “And then what?”

  “Then what?” Kassandra repeated, perplexed by the question.

  “What will you do once you find him? If you find him?”

  Kassandra titled her head, her eyes crinkled in confusion. “I will tell him,” she answered. “I will tell him that he is my dream man and we are destined to be together for eternity.”

  “Oh, Kassandra, my little sister. You know nothing of this world.”

  “That is not true. I have dined with you and Ronin many times. You taught me the manners and rules of your society and I have even learned how to dance your dances.”

  “Yes, you have many of those superficial skills, but you are still a fey child of the forest. I cannot bring you to court unless you agree to several additional codes of conduct. For your own protection.”

  “Like what? I’ll do anything!”

  “We must hide your hair under a wig and an elaborate mantle, and you must never show your red locks to anyone. We must powder your golden skin and hide your freckles, for no woman would allow her skin to be so touched by the sun. You must wear concealing, demure clothing and act mild mannered so as not to draw attention to yourself.” She glanced at Triu-cair. “And you must not show your weasel to anyone!”

  Kassandra laughed and spun around in a circle, her red hair streaming out behind her and her blue eyes sparkling with pleasure. “Done!” she cried happily. “Done and done again!”

  Late through the night, the two ladies worked hard on Kassandra’s transformation, agreeing that she would masquerade as a distant relative who was acting as companion to Princess Kalial. They created a black wig that looked acceptable underneath a flowing headdress and elegant coronet, and managed to find just the right combination of tinted cream and white face powder to completely obscure Kassandra’s freckles. With a modest gown and a concealing shawl, she looked completely changed. Even Kalial nodded in satisfaction.

  “You look like a perfect lady,” she said wryly. “I only hope you act like one. One more thing,” she warned. “I advise you not to talk about your dreams. The lords and ladies will not understand them and will find them frightening.”

  Kassandra nodded absently as she stroked the coarse wig and wriggled her nose to halt a fit of sneezing. “Of course, Kalial. Anything you say.”

  Dubious about Kassandra’s ability to follow through with the disguise, but grudgingly impressed with the transformation, Kalial ushered her into a bedroom and bade her sleep for the few hours before dawn. “I had planned on leaving tomorrow, so all is ready. If you had arrived a day later, I would have already been gone.”

  Kassandra grinned and sat on the edge of the bed. She had slept on a straw-filled mattress twice before and had found it to be comfortable enough, although she preferred sleeping in the crook of a tree branch. “The fates are smiling upon me,” she answered.

  “Or frowning upon me,” Kalial grumbled as she shut the door behind her and left her little sister alone. She had a lot of explaining to her husband to do!

  Chapter 2

  Kassandra woke with a pounding pulse the next morning. She stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling and twitched beneath the unaccustomed coverlet. She had had the same dream again, and felt the same desperate urgency to find her Dagda. Goose bumps rippled along her arms and her belly ached with a new hunger. She took a slow breath, trying to calm her racing heart, but images of his faceless spirit drifted in and out of her mind until she flung the blanket to the floor and sat up to glare out the window.

  “I will find him,” she said out loud. “I will find him and we will unite in harmony. It is simple. He will be delighted to see me and we will be wed immediately.” She rose, gathered the coverlet from the floor and draped it over the kickboard.

  He had mentioned her blue eyes, but he had said nothing about her hair.

  Kassandra touched her long mane. Mountains of red curls poured down her face like a river of red maple leaves. Kalial had thought that it would be a hardship for Kassandra to hide her hair, but she did not know how much Kassandra despised it. Even in the village, the vibrant red color had made her stand apart, destroying any chance she had of blending in with the other girls and obliterating her attempts to feel pretty and ordinary.

  Her red hair was the bane of her existence, the outward manifestation of some inner curse. Anyone who saw the flame-red tendrils knew she was odd, yet all she wanted was to feel part of the village. This disguise Kalial had created was exactly what she wanted. She could pretend to be just like any other girl searching for her eternal mate.

  Kassandra rose abruptly and paced around the room. Maybe she could even pretend she didn’t have prophetic dreams. She paused and picked up the weasel sunning himself in the window. Rubbing her face against his soft fur, she mentally shook her head. No, she could not hide her dreams. They had been part of her for years. It was true that sometimes her dreams were disturbing, particularly when they foretold of sorrowful events, but often she was able to change the outcome. If she dreamed that a warren of rabbits was going to be buried under a collapsing den, she sought to move them before the earth fell. At times, the responsibility of knowing the future was difficult, yet when she was able to save some creature, it was deeply gratifying.

  The people of her village understood her dreams, but outsiders did not. Ronin, her sister’s husband, gave her guarded looks when she spoke of her prophecies. Kalial could speak to animals, but she could not see the future and often looked at Kassandra askance when she talked of events to come. However, Kalial had remained faithful and caring and was the one person Kassandra trusted completely.

  After returning to the vanity table, Kassandra picked up several pins and bound her hair, then anchored the wig firmly. She set the mantle atop the wig and secured it with her coronet. With Kalial’s help, she was certain she would find her man. Not only did her dreams urge her to help him, she wanted to find him. She wanted to feel his earthly hands stroke her cheek and, dare she admit it, she wanted to feel his true flesh press against hers.

  She smiled into the polished metal. The false hairpiece and the concealing mantle transformed her from a wild and bizarre red-haired forest nymph into an elegant, black-haired woman. As long as no one knew about her true coloring, she could pretend to be something she was not.

  You cannot hide forever.

  “This is not your concern,” Kassandra snapped back at her weasel. “I am going to court and Kalial insists I wear this disguise. Besides, what if I find my Dagda, my true love? I do not want to frighten him away by looking hideous.”

  Your true love will care for you as you are, not as you want to be.

  “You are not an odd-looking woman with strange tendencies, whereas I am. Anyone from the outside world will think I am strange.”

  Not strange. Unusual.

  “They are not my Dagda. He is the man I seek.”

  Triu-cair scampered off the ledge and landed on the tumbled bed. His wise eyes peered up at her with a mixture of concern and worry. Perhaps he is not real. He may be only an image your mind has created.

  “You saw him last time.”

  But only in the dream. You cannot know for certain that he truly exists.

  “You sound like the others.” Kassandra walked over to the window seat and stared out at the glorious day. Princess Kalial stood in the courtyard
below completing her preparations while Laird Ronin McTaver watched. Turning with a smile, Kassandra motioned to Triu-cair. “Come along,” she said. “It is time to seek my destiny.”

  Ronin faced his wife in the courtyard. “How long do you intend to stay?” he asked her.

  “A fortnight, maybe two. Kassandra will doubtless want to return as soon as she realizes the impossibility of her task. Men are much harder to comprehend than she realizes, and as soon as she is confronted with their inflated sense of self”—she poked her husband playfully—“then she will give up on her search. She belongs in the forest, not in this outside world.”

  “Why do you allow her to accompany you? She does not like socializing with strangers and has never before expressed an inclination to travel from home.”

  Kalial sighed and glanced up toward Kassandra’s window. “She must. If I don’t take her, she will go on her own.”

  “I don’t see why. She should be content in Loch Nidean. She is such an interesting child and always welcome to visit here. She knows so much about the land, she is a big help to me.”

  “She has always been your favorite of my relatives, but it is time for her to seek her mate. She is ten and six! She wants her own husband and children, her own family.”

  Ronin shook his head. “The man she wants lives only in her dreams. I doubt such a man will be dancing at the king’s feet.”

  “You do not believe in her dream man, do you?” Kalial accused softly.

  Ronin cast his gaze across the fields to where a herd of horses gamboled. His eyes grew sad. “No. If he had been a true prophecy, he would have arrived many years ago when she first started talking about him. I want her to forget him and find a mate within her village. Then I would not have to worry about her choice.”

  Kalial walked closer to her husband, pulled his face toward her and kissed him on the lips. “Will you miss me?”

  He grunted and clasped her close. “More than you can imagine. There will be many men there. Should I be jealous?”

  Kalial playfully slapped his chest. “Don’t be ridiculous. There is not a man in this kingdom who could compare with you.”

  “What if someone from another kingdom is there? Some strong, handsome youngster who has an eye for a golden beauty like you?”

  “I love you and only you,” she whispered.

  Kassandra strode around the corner of the courtyard, her weasel scampering behind her. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she called. “I was caught in my dream and I found it hard to awaken.”

  Ronin glanced at her disguise in surprise, and Kalial blushed at being caught snuggling with her husband in broad daylight. She stepped back but Ronin grabbed her hand and would not let her retreat far.

  Sighing, Kalial looked at her half sister. “Are you ready?” she asked. “Are you sure you want to go?”

  Kassandra hesitated for a moment as she touched her wig. She could stay home where she was comfortable and accepted and avoid the outside world. She could wait for her dream man to arrive in the forest and never have to confront the shocked stares of the lords and ladies of the court if they happened to see through her ruse.

  She touched the dirk where it rested in the folds of her skirt. It was her connection to him. He had reached across the dream world and asked for her. “I want to go to court,” Kassandra replied firmly. “I . . . I must search for him, even if I cannot find him.”

  “Are you certain?” Kalial questioned. “You have always been so adamantly against traveling from home.”

  Gripping the hilt of the hidden dagger, Kassandra nodded. “I’m certain. I want to go to court.”

  Kalial and Ronin looked at each other quizzically; then Ronin pointed to the elaborate mantle and wig. “Kassandra, what are you wearing on your head? And why is your face so pasty white?”

  Kassandra touched a false curl self-consciously. “We thought I ought to look more acceptable if I was going to be near so many strangers.”

  “No—”

  Kalial interrupted her husband with a quick lift of her hand. “We both believe that Kassandra will feel more comfortable wearing a mantle. It will make her less shocking to the members of court.”

  “Why do you suddenly want to go to court? What has changed? You always said that your dream man would come to you,” Ronin said.

  Kassandra averted her gaze and shifted her weight back and forth.

  Ronin tilted her chin up. “What is different?”

  “My dream changed.”

  He pursed his lips and looked at Kalial. “I don’t understand these dreams,” he said gruffly. “Talk to your sister.”

  Kassandra looked up at her older sister with a pleading look. “I thought he would come to me, but he hasn’t. It is as if something is holding him away. Look”—she held up the engraved dirk—“this is his.”

  Ronin shook his head angrily. “Kassandra, there is no possible way that is his. You must have found it after some soldier lost it while trying to cross Loch Nidean.”

  Kalial placed a restraining hand on her husband’s arm.

  “At least keep her sheltered from the politics,” he said. Then, still grumbling, he turned and walked up to his wife’s horse, leaving the two of them alone.

  “You have had this obsession for a very long time,” Kalial chided. “Because of your dream, you have refused to allow any others to touch your heart.”

  “I know he is supposed to be my husband,” Kassandra replied. “I will not marry anyone else. This dirk is of a unique, Highland design. Perhaps he will be at court, and I have not met him because I have never gone before. You promised to let me attend. Give me one fortnight. It is time I searched for him instead of waiting for him to come and find me. You know my dreams often show the future. Why should you doubt this one?”

  “It is not that I want you to ignore your fey dreams. You have used your gift wisely and helped many with your warnings. ’Tis just that I wonder if you are misinterpreting this particular dream.”

  “I am not.”

  “Didn’t you think that you were supposed to meet each other ten years ago when you were six? You waited by the edge of the forest every day for three weeks, but he never came. Then you waited for ten years, never venturing far in case he should appear. Your love is a childish fantasy. Life mates are . . .” She looked over at her husband, remembering the way he had touched her that morning. “Life mates are more than just friends. They have a connection that is physical as well as spiritual.”

  Kassandra’s eyes hardened with determination. “That is why I must find him.”

  “Do you understand what I mean?” Kalial asked gently.

  Her little sister shrugged. “I know everything I need to know.”

  Kalial shook her head, unsure how to explain. “Kassandra, if you do not find him, will you consider that the dream may mean something other than what you think it does? Will you finally open your thoughts to include others?”

  “I know what it means,” she replied stubbornly.

  Kalial sighed and looked helplessly toward where her husband was leaning against her horse. He raised an eyebrow.

  “Promise me that you will think about what I have said,” she insisted.

  Kassandra glanced back and forth between the two. Her brother-in-law appeared irritated and her half sister concerned. She did not want to upset either of them. “I promise,” she said reluctantly.

  Kalial smiled and gathered her in a warm embrace. “We have prepared a horse for you and packed a valise with clothes, which has been loaded onto the wagon.”

  As Kassandra pulled away from Kalial, she motioned for the weasel. He sprang into her arms and climbed atop her head.

  “Do you intend to bring Triu-cair?” Kalial asked dubiously.

  “Yes. I could not fathom being apart from him, but I will not let anyone see him.”

  “He is not a pet the ladies of court would find acceptable,” Kalial repeated her warning.

  “I know,” Kassandra answered, her eyes
sparkling. “That is exactly why I care for him as much as I do.”

  Ronin grinned. “Ever since you were a babe, you have gone against convention. ’Tis no surprise you two are sisters.”

  “I will keep my hair covered,” Kassandra promised. “I will try my best to be amiable and polite. I will not ride astride. I will not speak of the forest. I will wear dresses and keep my freckles concealed. I will hide Triu-cair and I will endeavor to make friends with some of the other ladies. And I promise to be pleasant to the gentlemen—all of them.”

  Ronin harrumphed, then opened his arms. “I doubt you can do all that, my dear. You have never been able to mind your manners completely. ’Tis a fault of the red hair. All temper and flash, but I love you nonetheless. Now hurry and don’t delay my wife.”

  Kassandra smiled and gave him a warm hug. “Don’t let the brown stud at the mares,” she reminded him. “Their foal will not reach maturity. I saw it in my dreams.”

  He grinned and hugged her back. “I know. Not until next year. Take care, both of you. You two ladies are precious to me.”

  Kalial smiled and blew him a kiss as she and Kassandra, along with the wagon and ten men-at-arms, rode out of the yard and headed to court.

  Chapter 3

  Curtis McCafferty, only son of Laird McCafferty, and Cadedryn Caenmore, displaced earl of the neighboring Aberdour Castle, rode their horses to the top of the hill and stared down the slopes toward the royal castle. The King of Scotland, Malcolm III, and his wife, Queen Margaret, were in residence.

  Curtis glanced over at his companion. They were foster brothers and Cadedryn’s quest to regain his family’s title had become as important to Curtis as it was to Cadedryn. Their familial lands lay side by side and their castles were within a day’s ride of each other, although neither had been home for over a decade. After Cadedryn’s father’s death, he had gone to live with the McCaffertys until war had sent them both into foreign lands to fight in the name of their country. Their personal bond had strengthened with time, and nothing, Curtis swore silently as he stared at the castle below—no war, no king and no woman—would ever come between them. They were as close as if blood itself bound them together.